Creating an effective reality statement

In this blog I would like to talk about how to create an effective reality statement.

As I have often said using grow is that akin to using a map. The goal is your destination point, where you want to get too on the map.

Reality is where you currently on the map. So the more accurately you define where you are, the easier it will be to navigate to your destination.

So let’s look for a while at some examples of the sort of reality statements clients will bring you and how to change them to be more effective.

Original
‘I know some recruitment consultants’

Corrected
‘I have three recruitment consultants I know personally and who I could call up and ask for help. I know of four others but they do not know me.’

Why the corrected version is better for GROW
The second statement is specific about resources the person has and how well he/she knows them.

Original
‘I am overweight’

Corrected
”I weigh 120 pounds which is about 10lbs more than my recommended weight.’

Why the corrected version is better for GROW
Again we have specific information which is helpful in looking again at the Goal

Original
‘No one believes I have any talent’

Corrected
‘I have tried to finish the book many times but my husband and best friend tell me I cannot do it and should give up.’

Why the corrected version is better for GROW
This moves from a ‘complaint’ to the person actually saying what is going on for them when they try and finish the book. This points to Obstacles.

Original
‘My relationship is terrible’

Corrected
‘I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we have a major argument two or three times a week.’

Why the corrected version is better for GROW
Again there is often an initial tendency towards judgmental language which does not give useful information. The coach could probe to find out what the arguments were about.

Original
‘I am a yoyo dieter and I hate myself for it’

Corrected
‘I have lost the weight at least three times in the past but I have become very angry, eaten a lot of junk food and put on all the weight l had lost.’

Why the corrected version is better for GROW
The judgemental language often hides the facts that would be helpful in addressing the issue. The coach now knows he/she needs to build in mechanisms to cope with relapses

Original
‘My flat is a mess and I can’t seem to clear it up’

Corrected
‘I have tried to clear out my cupboards three times in the last two years but given up each time’.

Why the corrected version is better for GROW
With the new information the coach can immediately start to think about strategies for making the clearing up more successful.